I signed up for Carolyn's 10-session package last May. I have had chronic tension in my neck and shoulders as long as I can remember. I knew I needed more than massage. While it felt wonderful, the relaxation simply did not stay with me; I found myself tightening up again sometimes in a matter of hours. I had the notion that how I bore my body was related to my internal relationship to life. I just did not know how to get at and to change what was making me uncomfortable and tight.

My first appointment came. I was excited and did not know what to expect. It was a lovely early morning (Carolyn is accommodating!). I discovered a sign on the porch that instructed me to leave my shoes there. I entered a small waiting room and was welcomed by an invitation to enjoy a lovely warm foot bath, a cup of tea and any of the books and materials there. Soon Carolyn came to get me and we ascended to her "bird's nest" room overlooking the Connecticut River. It is a spectacular, peaceful, lovely setting - private and very welcoming. Carolyn began by asking me what I was seeking. I explained my recurrent neck and shoulder tension. We spent a few minutes talking about what I was holding up there and then moved to her treatment table. She led me through a beautiful centering meditation which really touched me. Carolyn was so focused on me and my needs. I felt the meeting with her was sacred and blessed. She was supporting my highest spiritual needs in this effort to release my body's tensions. Then she began the gentle placement of hands. I had never experienced anything like this. I could not help but relax. Mentally I slipped completely away from cognitive to a drifting serene place. I know my body responded to the support she gave it, the gentle stretchings and rockings. I felt all tension melt away. But more than that, I felt that we were addressing my soul, listening to it, hearing and responding to it at a subconscious level. This went on for two hours! When it was over, I felt peaceful and invigorated. Again, I did not work at any cognitive explanation or resolution. I simply existed in greater harmony.

This pattern repeated itself for nine more sessions. My conscious intention was to loosen, allow, accept and flow in my body and in all aspects of my life. I did not have any one startling revelation; the sky did not part and voices did not thunder directions. But slowly and decidedly, I felt - and continued to feel - freer. This freedom is not only in my body but in my psyche as well. It permeates everything - how I am at work, at home, in my inner self and in my relationships. It is not a shrieking change, but a slow and gentle one. I have shifted and am letting go in very healthy ways. My neck and shoulder tension does come back from time to time. Carolyn showed me how to breathe into it to let it go. Sometimes that works. Sometimes that does not. But I am totally confident that the underlying tightness is working its way to the surface. It feels very very good to me.